I am tip-toeing into a go at blogging after a lot of lurking and occasional involvement in various chat rooms and websites. Before I typed the typical terms you and I all type into a search engine about being submissive, domestic discipline, taken in hand, spanking or found the numerous online communities , I knew I was submissive and my knight Ross was an alpha male, my leader. We've been in "this thing" for awhile. 50 Shades of Grey did not inspire us! (ew!)
The only reason I blog hopped was for us and always sneakily as this all NSFW.
The platforms I found for discussion were hit or miss. Some places were clearly people looking to exchange TMI stories about the intimate parts of their dynamic. It depended on who was in a chat room. For awhile there weren't any websites on "how to" do this thing, just people sharing their stories, some which were likely more fantasy than truth. Then these "expert guides" started showing up with paid memberships. People sold information about submission, discipline and head of household style relationship. There were competing how to guides on starting "Domestic Discipline" almost as a trademarked term. Different types of couples began appearing, with a different vibe than had been around before. It wasn't about sharing stories and picking up a tip or two, it was cult like. There was ONE way to have this kink in your marriage-and being submissive was very specific. If that mold was not fit, no one knew how to talk to each other. People were mean in their efforts to get people to do "DD" their way. Some people brought in floundering marriages and needed to find a couple to prop them up.
To say the very least, it was strange. We didn't stick around. We went through some really hard things in our life and this online stuff was a massive distraction and not help us at all. If something is not fun, I don't do it! Ross knew how to reign me in without anybody's help. We'd had our rules and non-rules in place before some of these couples had drivers licenses.
Growing up, my mother always told me that your friends couldn't be in your marriage. I remember her excusing herself when Bunco or Sunday School ladies got to chatting about their husbands. I remember this bc it brought my playing with friends to an end for that day. She said very few friends are lifelong. You don't want people you don't talk to anymore and realize you truely don't know, knowing intimate things about the one person who will ALWAYS be in your life. You cant really get good advice on the most intimate things of a marriage unless people are in the middle of it and thats dangerous ground. So we just quit it all. Quit interacting with the other Head of Households, HOHs, Tops, Daddys, submissives, baby girls and Taken in Hands... or whatever label people used for themselves.
Without the internet, my husband and I had no trouble remaining in our roles which were firmly set long before Christian Grey took a belt to his silly girlfriend. As time allowed, I'd read well-written, mature blogs the ones I'd always read, but without interacting with other readers. My submission was as it was when we had begun, a super private thing.
I do though think its important to share your life experiences. Ross and I have learned lots and journeyed far. We read articles, books and blog articles that were harmful and some so very appalling. More than once I sent Ross a link and his reply was strong
"I will NEVER do that to you!"
We read some posts that were good. Our intent with this blog is to tell you how we are us as a couple, learning and unlearning things along the way. We don't do "DD". We aren't in a "D/s" relationship. We don't "do BDSM". There is no "doing" any particular thing. It's just... us.
We're happy, happy, happily married. We are parents, employees, siblings, friends, bosses, neighbors and huge fans of the great outdoors in the completely gorgeous Western United States. We have the greatest cutest children in the entire world. Ross is the boss. I trust him with every part of me. Nice to meet ya!
Oh yeah, sometimes I get spanked. hard.
